Spotlight: A Carer's Story
Published on 04 October 2019 02:19 PM
Meet Valarie, who has been caring for her mother for 3 years now. Valarie’s 80 year old mother is disabled and has dementia. Valarie has a complicated history with her mother but when she was contacted by her mother’s friend and told that her mother was ill, she went to see her. Valarie remembered her late father’s wish for her to take care of her mum when he was gone. So Valarie stopped work and started caring for her mum.
Valarie tells us her story:
“At first, I went round every morning and night. I did all the cooking, shopping, dealing with the post and made sure she took her medication. I also took mum to the GP and other appointments. It was a full time job and mentally exhausting. It was draining me.
Dementia is difficult - it made mum repeat herself and I found I was repeating myself. I did not know who to talk to about it. It was so stressful. I even considered going back to work and paying someone to look after her.
One day I took my mum to a course at the Islington Memory Service and in the reception area, I picked up a copy of the Islington Carers Hub newsletter. I saw a page about the support groups and decided to go along to one.
It was a total 180 degrees change for me. I was talking and crying and for the first time I was able to say how difficult it was…and to a room full of people too! A weight came off my shoulders. Yvonne from the Carers Hub gave me tissues and the other carers gave me support and advice. They told me I needed to take time for myself too. They understood what I was going through. I was buzzing when I left. I could live my life again. It was such a relief!
The staff at Islington Carers Hub have also supported me. They have given me a Carers Card and a list of contacts of people I can talk to when I need to. They check in with me from time to time and I find that uplifting.
It’s still stressful at times and I am working on making time for me and doing the things I used to enjoy as well. The difference now is I know there are people I can talk to”.
For more information about Islington Carers Hub
For more information about Islington Carers Hub and how they can support you in your caring role.