Worried about a loved one? Here's what to do

As our loved ones age, the responsibility of caregiving often falls upon adult children or close relatives. Currently, 1.9 million adults aged 40-60 find themselves providing care and support for their parents. While caregiving can be rewarding, it also presents numerous challenges. If you're concerned about a loved one, here are some steps you can take to address the situation and offer support.

Observe and Document:
Start by paying attention to specific signs or behaviours that have raised your concerns. These could include physical changes, memory lapses, emotional shifts, social withdrawal, or neglecting personal care. Keep a record of these observations, noting dates and details. If you can, put yourself in the shoes of the other person. How might they be feeling about the situation? What could be making them act the way they are?

Initiate a Conversation:
A conversation is the best place to start addressing your concerns. Approach your loved one with empathy, respect, and an open mind. Choose a comfortable and private setting to discuss your concerns. Express your love, support, and genuine worry about their well-being. Allow them to share their thoughts and feelings while actively listening without judgment. Encourage open dialogue and reassure them that your intention is to help and support them.

Ask Open-Ended Questions:
When engaging in conversation, open-ended questions (ones you can't answer with yes or no) are usually better if you're hoping to get more detailed answers from someone. So instead of asking, "Do you think you’re eating enough?" you could ask, "What did you have to eat yesterday?" or "What are some of your favourite meals to cook?”. Try to explain why you're asking. Let them know that you're concerned and would like to talk about it. Perhaps suggest they do it to humour you or to ease your mind. Sometimes people are more willing to engage in things they don't really want to do when they feel like they're doing it for someone else.

Focus on the Other Person:
When you're raising your concerns, keep in mind that this isn't about you. Try to focus on the other person's feelings and concerns before talking about what you want to happen. By putting their views at the centre of the conversation, you're more likely to get them to open up and show them that you're there for them. It's best to listen to what the other person has to say first before trying to 'fix ' the problem or imposing your views.

Agree on Small Steps Together:
Remember, this conversation isn't about "winning" or getting them to agree with everything you say. They may not acknowledge or agree with all your points, and that can be frustrating. However, focusing on small steps forward can lead to lasting changes that truly help. Letting some things go in favour of building up your relationship can be much more effective in the long run.

Would Another Perspective be Helpful?
We all want to do the right thing, but sometimes that can mean admitting we're not the best person for the job. If you notice significant physical or cognitive changes, share your observations with a doctor, as your insights can provide valuable information that could be missed. Medical professionals can assess their health, identify any underlying conditions, and recommend appropriate treatment or interventions.