Love in harmony

Living in the Cheshire countryside with only his cat Tilly for company, 96-year-old Harry has grown used to a quiet existence.

It’s a sharp contrast to the life he used to enjoy. Harry’s days were once filled with music and travel, as his career as a professional trumpeter took him across Europe and North Africa. But after he married May, Harry decided to stop touring to spend more time with her.

“We were as different as chalk and cheese, May and I,” says Harry. “But I thought we were made for each other.”

Harry can't recall where most of his pictures of May are now, but it doesn't matter – despite losing her to a long illness a number of years ago, Harry’s beloved wife is still never far from his mind: “My last thought at night is May, and my first thought in the morning is May. I miss her so much now, but it was a wonderful life we had together. If I could do it all again, I'd do just the same thing.”

Seven shillings and sixpence

Harry met May through her aunt, who lived close by, and he quickly proved himself to be a good match for May’s practical approach to life. Using money he had earned from touring, Harry bought a house around the corner from one of his bandmates. At first, Harry didn’t tell May about the house, but his bandmate’s wife Muriel insisted that he did – and she mentioned it to May, too. The next time the young couple visited Muriel and her husband, May said to Harry: “Oh, you've got something to show me in the next avenue. And when we come back, we'll have a talk about it.”

Harry continues the story: “I took May into this house and she thought it was a marvellous place. So I said, ‘It's my house, and if we get married, it will be our house, and these are the things we're going to do’.”

Harry was then due to go on tour for a few days, and so told May: “Give it some serious thought and let me know when I see you again. You don't have to jump to any fast conclusions, but whatever you say will affect our lives tremendously.”

When Harry returned, May’s response was music to his ears: May and her mum had already booked a Methodist chapel for the wedding, paying the fee of seven shillings and sixpence to do so. “And so, as I reminded May many times,” smiles Harry, “she got me and the house for seven and six!”

May, queen of the garden

Harry and May soon settled into a harmonious marriage. Despite not singing or playing any instruments herself, May shared Harry’s passion for music – “it was so important to both our lives” – and when Harry got a gig at the BBC Pebble Mill studios in Birmingham, playing on the radio every Thursday, May was delighted to accompany him.

Harry recalls: “They treated May like royalty. She was well fed and all that. There'd be a big queue of people waiting to get in. But we simply walked there and they opened the door, saying, ‘come in Harry and May’, and that was that. It was most unusual, but totally enjoyable.”

But whilst Harry’s first love was music, May’s was undoubtedly the garden. May had grown up on a farm and had a lifelong love of the outdoors – a passion which led to a job at the Forestry Commission, and which was evident in the hours May spent on her home’s green space.

“It wasn't work to her; she loved doing it,” Harry explains. “She had a big greenhouse, and the garden was absolutely beautiful – cars used to stop and people used to photograph the place.” Harry was more than happy to leave May in charge, “because I knew she knew more about that side of it than I did. She gave me my instructions when she wanted me to help with something in the garden. And I did whatever she said, so it worked perfectly!”

A friend down the line

As the years went by, Harry says that neither he nor May wanted for much apart from what they already had. They were happiest pottering around at home and in the garden –though they did share some wonderful holidays together, particularly in Austria and Switzerland.

Nowadays, Harry still lives in the home where he spent so many wonderful years with May. Life has been difficult without her, but Harry says that his ongoing faith and his self-proclaimed positive attitude have given him strength.

“After May passed away it was terrible,” he recalls. “But I’ve always been a positive thinker, and I’m pleased to say that I still am. I don’t dwell on the things that I can’t do. I keep going because of this wonderful hope I have that I’ll see May, and that we’ll be together again.”

Harry’s weekly phone calls with his telephone friends Sheila and Neil, who he was matched with through the Age UK Telephone Friendship Service, also help him to deal with the loneliness of life without May.

“Age UK means a lot,” explains Harry, “because it gives me this companionship over the phone and I hear about different things that are happening, so it helps me to keep in touch with the world. It’s an important part of my life. I’m still able to smile and have a chatter.”