Costas - Dementia Befriender
Volunteering and helping your local community is a great thing to do and very enjoyable, as Volunteer Dementia Befriender, Costas, found out. We caught up with him and he spoke about the love of his role.
I would like to say a few things that may explain my love for the befriending role. I’ve always enjoyed having a chat with older people and been fascinated with old films, famous stars, singers, English, Irish and International songs and anything from the past. In fact, every Friday, I used to go to the Metropolitan Theatre in Edgware Road, mainly because of the musical programmes, which featured famous people such as Bridie Gallagher, Maureen O'Hara, Jimmy O'Dea and others.
My first voluntary role was well over 40 years ago, at a Day Centre in the Finsbury Park area and I was over the moon when I was asked to run the Reminiscence Group. I was given all the material I had requested, and the group was electrifying. By showing a photo, almost everyone would know that it was e.g. Rita Hayworth, Ann Shelton, Marlene Dietrich and some would even sing operettas. I arranged to have a morning off from work, just to be at the centre. I learnt so much from these lovely pensioners and we had great times.
At university, I studied social sciences, history, political sciences, psychology, counselling and was so happy when Tracey, Age UK Camden staff member, matched me with Miles, who loved talking about history. He said once, 'It's like I have known you all my life'. Tracey was again spot on when I was introduced to Elizabeth. We have so much in common: theatre, singers, places we have visited. I learnt so much from these two befriendees, they are like a living encyclopaedia. I think I have covered the enjoyable aspect.
"I strongly believe that one ought to love what they are doing, and I enjoy visiting people. I suppose that the advantage I have is the fact that I am over eighty and have similar experiences. For example, we can talk about foreign languages, shillings, farthings and half crowns, or inches and yards, as well as people like Tommy Cooper, Max Bygraves, Kenneth Williams..., which I enjoy so much."
Therefore, the role of Dementia Befriending is very rewarding, although some people like to see us just as new friends and expect that this friendship is genuine, which is fine with me. Receiving training for the role was very useful. My last job before retirement was at Middlesex University, mentoring students with disabilities and this gave me added empathy and listening skills. It is amazing how much volunteers can gain from listening to stories that elderly people like to share.
In my opinion, young volunteers can gain a lot by listening, sharing experiences and doing some research, regarding the areas people used to live and their interests. This will make the conversation much more natural and will be mutually beneficial.
Please, please do spend a little time with older people - you will not regret it.