Stories of friendship - Dementia Action Week 2024

This Dementia Action Week, we are celebrating the friendships made in our Dementia Day Club. Research has shown that socialising and joining groups can help keep the brain active, maintain memory, and manage emotions. It can even slow down the decline in our thinking skills – with or without a dementia diagnosis.

‘We see the change in people who come to our clubs,’ says Dementia Day Club team leader Donna. ‘I’ve seen members just hit it off straight away who don’t stop talking from the moment they arrive to the moment they leave. Others take a bit longer to relax and join in but they invariably do – sometimes it takes an activity they love or a piece of music to bring them out of themselves.’

Read our stories of friendship and bonding…

‘Our friendship is very important to me.’

Tankiso and Louise

Louise and Tankiso got on immediately. Louise’s carer Janet says coming to our day clubs and meeting Tankiso has completely transformed her. ‘Louise didn’t have friends and could become very withdrawn but since meeting Tankiso she has come to life,’ says Janet. ‘They chat all day and Louise saves things to talk about during the week. She’s always saying, oh I must tell Tankiso. And she looks forward to coming all week.’

Tankiso says they love talking about their lives and that Louise is interested in her life growing up in Swaziland. ‘Our friendship is very important to me’, she says.

‘There’s always something to do, but what we love more than anything is to chat.’

Doreen and Audrey

Doreen says: ‘The best thing about coming to this club is Audrey. I’m on my own since losing my husband, but I like company. Me and Audrey clicked straight away. I’m a chatterer and Audrey’s a chatterer. We talk about everything and anything and put the world to rights. We only see each other once a week and come in together on the same minibus and we just don’t stop talking.  My son has never met Audrey but they know all about her will always ask, How is Audrey?'

Audrey says: ‘It’s so nice to make a friend. Doreen and I always sit next to each other in the centre and save each other a seat on the minibus. Not everyone wants to talk but I come here for the company.'

Doreen and Audrey say: ‘There’s always something to do, but what we love more than anything is to chat.’

‘Clubs like these are so important for friendships.’

Sherrill and Greta

Sherrill says: ‘Clubs like these are so important for friendships.  It’s hard for people in the outside world to understand getting old and what’s it’s like to live alone and how hard it can be to meet new people. I like going to the park but I don’t want to talk to strangers.

‘I love that it’s sociable here and that I get a chance to meet like minded people. I also love learning new things without worrying about making mistakes – we are all in it together.

‘Before coming here I was not sure of myself and where I would go and who I would meet. This club takes all that worry away.’

Greta says: ‘This group has opened me up to new friendships and I love meeting new people. We are all different but we’re all together and share experiences. I’ve always liked people and enjoy the company I get when I come here. We have a lot of common ground which makes us close.'

‘Until I came here I was avoiding social situations.’

Salim

Salim, who has Parkinson’s and dementia, says: ‘As my speech started to slow down, my social life became harder. I was becoming more or less housebound, withdrawing from social situations and not meeting new people.

‘But joining here has helped me. It’s relaxed, there’s no pressure and everyone is friendly. For me it was good being pushed out into the real world and I would really recommend anyone to do the same and have experiences you wouldn’t otherwise have. I have new grandchildren and I need to be as happy, active and chirpy as I can be and this club is just what the doctor ordered.

‘I enjoy the activities  and chatting to other people about new things.’

And the final words go to Joyce…

‘You can feel lonely and sad sometimes but when you come to Age UK Barnet you don't feel lonely or sad - you're amongst friends.’